'Modern' Marriage @ Patna

It was winter, and it was Patna. I recently got an opportunity to attend a marriage in the city. After travelling for 30 hrs in train, from Mumbai, I surprisingly reached on time. Why surprisingly? Because the Danapur division of the Indian railways are very notorious in their time management. Legends say that the reason 'Vikas' is late in Bihar, is simply because it is waiting for its turn at Danapur outer.

Khair, time for some mandatory Bihari nostalgia. You stay wherever in the world, there is actually something in your home state which magically connects with you. It was 5 am in the morning, and the station was hyperactive with passengers. The auto waley bhaiyas , as their constitution says, were fighting for passengers. The local bidi tobacco shop had a flurry of visitors, and the accompanied tea thela was getting ready to provide the platform to the argumentative citizens all around. With blaring sound boxes playing Shiva strotam, the biggest billboard in the vicinity, with a mixture of 20% warmth and 80% advisory, proudly screamed- "Danapur mein aapka swagat hai".

The weddings in the hindi belt are incomplete without giving the description of the social settings involved. So, we were ladki waley. Which basically means that you have mortgaged your pride and respect, until the barat leaves- with inflated ego, well fed tummies, and certainly greased by 'gifts'.

Amid the family gathering, I also got a golden opportunity to over hear an old daadis and aunty gossip session. They were discussing how young brides these days are getting 'restless' and 'rebellious'. The oldest one among them angrily concluded, that, her daughter in law had the audacity this morning to refuse her morning tea. This argument got the loudest sympathetic nods from the group.

Wedding ceremonies made everyone busy. The halwai’s demands were to be taken care of. The tent waley bhaiya looked as if given a chance, he may also decorate the ugly state of Indian democracy. The relatives started pouring. And within a few hours, I felt that IIM Ahmedabad should also launch a programme in managing Indian weddings.

Respecting the age old auspicious tradition,the barat came late. Pumped up with toxic male pride, and after hijacking the streets for a few hours to exhibit their IIFA worthy dance performances, the next ceremony was the gala event of the evening- The Jaimala. On the National anthem of bride entry music of Din Shagna Da, the well rehearsed rituals from hereon were flawlessly executed. 

Post Jaimaal, it was time for food. Middle aged uncles started their discussion with Trump's prospect of retaining his position in the US 2020 election. Slowly, via CAA-NRC debates, discussion reached its pinnacle when the topic of Tej Pratap Vs Tejashwi Yadav was hotly debated. The ladies formed a separate group, and mainly discussed their daily chores. Finally, the teenagers found their comfort in shooting tic- tok videos.

But amid all this, there was a common theme which I noticed everywhere. It seems the otherwise traditional city is bit confused. Exposed with the modern consumerist ideas, it is getting increasingly difficult for them hold the notions of being 'pure' and 'traditional'. It's something like a love- hate relationship. Further, the emerging matrix is also bit scary. Consider this thought- what if society adopts the worst of both traditional and modern world? Would this will be the classic case of mistaken modernity?

And with these thoughts, I gulped my 8th Gulab Jamun, and impatiently waited for the tandoor to churn out the next hot roti...